So, are you excited for Sam to start college? I was finishing up my week as camp doc at my youngest son’s sleepaway camp when the camp director asked me this question, rather off-handedly. It sent a jolt through my body. In the past few weeks, I had celebrated my milestone 50th birthday and watched my oldest son Sam graduate high school. My summer would include preparation for his college launch, helping my rising senior Ben with his college applications and also planning Leo’s upcoming Bar Mitzvah in October. All good things, I know, but these life events entail a remarkable amount of effort and emotion.
Being a camp doctor carries enormous responsibility and I am always happy to drive away after I have done my part to keep the campers and staff healthy. But now, there was no time for procrastination. I had my work cut out for me. When she asked me this question, I felt a sense of overwhelming mix of nervous anticipation and nostalgia, The thought bubble above my head asked “AM I SUPPOSED TO BE EXCITED?”
My loyal readers, you have shared my journey over the past 8 years, shortly after Sam was diagnosed with T1D at age 9. You have supported me as we navigated through his pre-teen and high school years which were complicated by medical challenges. And here we are, less than a month before he leaves for college. I am so proud of what he has accomplished. Sam will be attending Emory University in Atlanta which, yes, involves a flight but at least we share a time zone.
We had a trial run of his independence when he spent 2 months on a senior school trip to Poland and Israel, for which packed a small pharmacy and a lot of snacks free of gluten, flax, and nuts. We were all concerned because he became very sick on his 8th grade trip to Israel. But luck was on his side, and he managed to have a wonderful and relatively healthy time, showing that he (and we as parents ) could survive his travel in foreign countries with a busy agenda and little sleep. Of course, college will be different than a school trip. There will huge adjustment to new friendships, academic challenges, and independent living. He knows that diabetes will inevitably throw curveballs, altering his daily schedule for unexpected site and monitor changes, meal times, efficient study times, even sleep ( due to a fear of sleeping through a low BG which is very dangerous). We can help him with his supplies, provided he lets us know when his supplies run low, which is not as automatic as it seems. We can also monitor his blood sugars from an app on our phones, but that only helps if he answers our calls or texts. Should we even be doing this, just because we have the technologic capability? After all, he is 18, and responsible up until a point. These are tough questions.
And how am I preparing for this college launch? I have gone straight into planning mode, as this only a portion of tasks I need to accomplish this summer. I can distribute my stress between my work as a pediatrician, the college launch, the college search and applications, and the Bar Mitzvah. This way, no portion can become all-consuming.
I also learned last month that no amount of planning can prepare me for my emotions on move-in day. The sight of Sam in his cap and gown as he walked down the aisle at graduation rendered me speechless for the first time…ever. Therefore, I will tackle our to-do list, enjoy our last few weeks together. When I feel the lump in my throat as I hug him good-bye at Raoul Hall on Emory’s beautiful campus, I will try to remember something I read along the way. As difficult as this is for us parents, this really is one of our finer moments. It’s now Sunday at 11:30 am, and I am about to wake Sam to finally start dorm shopping. So good luck to us as we head to Bed and Bath…and then of course, beyond.