This past weekend was filled with debuts for our family: Sam attended the first Bat Mitzvah of one of his own friends.   Ben starred in his school play.  Leo played his first “coach-pitched” little league game (a step up from t-ball, he reminded me).  All good things, but I was definitely a bit stressed about how the “food-focused events” would affect my kids, both physically and emotionally.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah “circuit” occurs throughout school grades 6-8. It signifies the coming of age and onset of adult responsibility according to Jewish law. Celebrations range from a simple luncheon after the service to extravagant parties. For our family, the most difficult factor is obviously the food. The logistics of attending Bar mitzvah often include complicated carpool arrangements, conflicting schedules, sports, other family events, and late night pick-ups. I’ve been hearing about it for years. Since Sam would be gone for most of the day and the Bat Mitzvah was 40 minutes away, I needed to make sure he was prepared for anything. He was not in a school or camp setting where he had back-ups of everything in the nurse’s office.

Checklist for Sam’s bag:

• Replenish test strips -Glucose tablets/sweet-tarts for lows,
• Glucagon pen for bad lows (unlikely, but better to be safe)
• Epi-pen for his anaphylactic flax allergy (flax is included in many foods today, especially low-fiber GF foods)
• Benadryl  (for his less severe oral allergy symptoms which occur with most fruits and nuts)
• Lactaid pills in case he is lucky enough to eat ice cream instead of eating the gluten-free cupcake I packed for him (which only tastes good if it’s heated directly prior to eating).
• Whoops:- WHERE IS HIS PHONE? GO CHARGE IT! NOW!!

Everything was ready by the time his friend came to pick him up.  I breathed a quick sigh of relief as I saw the two of them exchange smirks at their dress clothes, as if they were saying “Well, here we go.”

Although Ben was excited to be chosen as Conrad, the star of Bye–Bye Birdie, he wasn’t so happy about the cast party that was planned for the break between the morning and afternoon performances. Everybody was talking about the special Bye-Bye Birdie cake, brownies, and pizza. I told him I would substitute as well as I could. Unfortunately, it was logistically impossible to get fresh GF pizza to the school in time for the party. There was no way to reheat a cold slice so it would be edible. I tried my best to distract him from the party and focus on the play, but he was quite upset and begged me not to make him go to his cast party. “The cake and all the food is going to look so good, I’m going to be annoyed when I see and smell it!”

It’s hard to be different, especially when the substitutions just don’t cut it. My older boys have had celiac disease for 7 years. Should they be used to this? Sure, but it’s never that easy.

I do say: “Focus on the positive, remember everyone has something they need to deal with.” I’m still trying to figure out the best way to diffuse their stress while anticipating an event and deal with disappointment which may occur. I know that in time they will learn to manage their expectations. Explaining how they also have friends with other food allergies only goes so far.  They are young, and they have big eyes and hungry stomachs. The snacks I send in the Tupperware are, according to them, never quite as good.

So, how did the weekend turn out?  Sam enjoyed celebrating with friends, but he did have a few low BG’s because lunch was delayed. He also made a point of telling me that he would have loved to try those “enormous cookies and brownies”. Ben woke up with laryngitis on the day of his performance, but he did his best and he looked smashing as Conrad Birdie. He ate what I brought him for the party, grimaced a little at the cake, and then ran off with his friends. And, Leo, my little slugger? He hit a double in both of his games, and he was so proud that he beamed while sharing this news with everyone.

Despite the hassles and tension created by food restrictions and diabetic concerns, we managed to squeeze out a good weekend of debuts and created some great memories. Similar to photography, we can try to focus on the best ones, delete the bad ones, and be more prepared for next time.